Some practical skills for those new to gay sex

Males

You can develop your own approach to sexual activities with males but there are some general guidelines on how we should approach sex for the first time. Remember that sex is a two way experience you pleasure your partner and he pleasures you. It is very important to keep this in mind. Often the first experience can be a disaster to the point that it puts you off all together. In order that we develop our skills and technique it is a bit unfair to expect that we can jump into the deep end of the pool if we cannot swim. With porn freely accessable via the internet these days it is likely that you may have already emersed yourself with images of guys taking part in anal sex, rimming, blow jobs and wanking off and even group sex. Even some of the sexual positions look odd and we have bare backing where condoms are not used.

Please avoid thinking that you have to accomplish all these in your first session. If you can try and take each step at a time and don’t rush things. Romance can easily be forgotten or avoided. Maybe romance is not for you but without romance you will find sex after a while becomes empty of purpose. If you are not careful you might rob yourself of romance and sex becomes so predictable, bad habits are repeated and ultimately maybe the cause of not keeping a regular boyfriend.

First think of foreplay jumping into bed with someone and not including foreplay will actually be the cause of your partner complaining that you are crap shag. For someone to be put off can be nothing to do with penetrative sex but what we don’t do before.

In your mind you will have your own rules of engagement and there maybe things you will not do on a first date. That maybe not be having sex at all. Your partner may have different ideas to you so it is important to talk  and listen to your partner first.

Just lying on top of your partner fully clothed may actually make you climax. Therefore as we approach this subject we need to apply some very important truths

1) Your partner must be consenting and you also. Getting your partner drunk in order to have sex is wrong and you could end up with a rape charge.

2) Know the legal age of gay sex in your country this is a guidline and should be helpful rather than a restriction. Having sex too young is not fair on you or your partner.

3) Communicate with your partner you are not an animal listen and talk through what you want and find out your partners needs

4) There should be no problem in delaying taking in part in sexual activities try and focus outside the box of sex.

I often laugh when watching porn because it’s so fake and unreal.  The subject matter may have a lovely shaped bum and penis and so cute but they are not what regular guys look like. One of the main reasons you will not find porn or access to porn from this site.  It does not help us educationally in fact it destroys and cheats us out of the relationship side of sex. It is only one way where real sex is two way process.

So what is my approach to sex with someone who has never had sex before?

With someone with experience you should be fine, difficulties are usually dealt with quite easily and talking through what you would like to achieve should help clear any issues before they crop up.  I must point out because a guy is older and has experience will not mean he will treat you the right way. May I introduce you to selfish sex where your partner is only interest in pleasuring themselves.  Selfish sex is often practiced by older imature guys and younger.

Lets look at two guys who have met each other online and they have exchanged photographs and they are attracted to each other. We donot know their ages but one of them is a virgin. David is the virgin and Brian has experience with a long term relationships and is younger than David. They meet offline and David invites Brian back to his place. David is slightly out of his depth and informs Brian that he is a virgin. David asks Brian do you treat virgins any differently to more experienced guys. Brian makes a helpful point – “I was a virgin once but I did not say I was on my first date. I actually told him afterwards. I thought if I told him it might put him off me. But he already knew because I gave him selfish sex. He was doing all the leading and control where I just took what I wanted. I was not aware that I was doing it. So yes I would treat virgins differently but there are guys out there who pick up bad habits and experienced but they are crap at sex. Sure there are guys who will run away from virgins. Maybe because they are crap at sex themselves, so if they do run away you are doing yourself  a favour.”  It’s very simple pleasure your man and if he does not pleasure you back then tell him or leave him for someone else to deal with the problem. Not all virgins are crap lovers sometimes know what they want and know when to give.

So let look at the act of sex

It is most common for young people to start taking part in sex at a younger age. The main reasons are two fold They perceive their peers as having sex. Therefore they feel there is pressure to conform and will take part in  sex  just to pease their peers. The second reason is the body produces new or increased levels of certain hormones which control sexual apertite therefore it is in the human instinct to desire to seek sexual gratification. These are very powerful urges and require major effort in self control and learning. This is why we do not deside our sexual orientation it appears o have a will and control of its own.

There are three parts to sexual activity physical, emotions and mental all of these processses require mastering to maintain a healthy and joyful sexual experience.

For those who are responding to their sexual desire for sex and do have an opportunity for the first time the following maybe beneficial:

• Body contact – Two bodies making contact with each other is the first sensation we will feel. Our bodies rubbing against each other can bring on an errect penis or even a climax within minutes. Fully clothed or without.
• Anal intercourse – Is optional not every couple takes part inserting an errect penis with condom, tongue or vibrator probe in either of their anus (But hole)  Some believe in sharing this within a meaningful relationship or someone special. The Sphincter muscle is the circle door to the anus it consists of  two parts the out side part is the voluntary and behind is involuntary. This muscle is the only area that can be stimulation. After this point there are no nerve or receptors for you to feel anything. Using condoms will not reduce the sensation and often used as an excuse for guys who are too lazy to use condoms. For the penis there maybe a very slight amount of sensitivity lost to the head of the penis but for the first time it is very important to use a condom for protection and may help avoid premature ejaculation caused by a very sensitive head of the penis. The anus comes in different sizes some will only accept a small penis while larger ones will take larger. It is worth while not to seek out a partner who is well endowed (They have a larger than average penis) But this is not always practical. Before inserting a penis make sure the sphincter muscle has been allowed to relax so it can accomodate the head of the penis. There will be some discomfort but not pain to the point there is sting  going on. With plently of  lubrecation with water based gels (KY gel)  and a little forplay the sphincter needs some preparation. The finger is commonly used but the but probe is probably the most helpful peice of equipment to have.  Using the tongue to enter the muscle is the most effective method but not everyone is comfortable or I would say horny enough to take part in this practise of rimming (licking the sphincter)  Personal hygeine clearly needs to be practiced. Tongue fucking is where the tongue enters the  anus. and stimulates the involuntary muscle in the same way as the penis.  The squat position is the most comfortable position to first take part in anal sex. Basically you are kneeling and sitting over the penis you also have greater control to allow for the anal muscle to relax in your time. Anal sex is enjoyable if approached correctly. I must point out that you may have a preferance to receiving or giving or both.  Remember what I said earlier about selfish sex don’t be labeled a crap shag just because you are not prepared to share the effort. I will stick my neck out at this point and say that those are exclusively passive (RECEIVER) are lazy and often are judge as being a crap shag. Some couples are happy and it works for them for one to be exclusively active and the other exclusively passive. One of the great benefits of gay sex is that we have more options than the heterosexuals. We can fuck and be fucked where the hetes  only have one option.
• Oral Sex -This is where the penis is stimulated inside the mouth or where the lips and tongue tickle the anus. The blow job is is probably the most common sexual activity. Good personal hygeine always impresses the majority.   Again there are many variables and situations  that can be addressed before you take part in oral sex. If the size of  the penis is larger than what your mouth  and throat can accomodate this can be an issue. Deep troat is where the penis can fully be accomodated into the mouth  and also down the throat. Deep throating is a rather less practiced because you have to relax and sort of swallow the penis.  If you gag then you are not relaxing enough.  Size of penis diameter can also limit this technique. Don’t expect everyone can perform the deep throat even I have not mastered it. Keep to licking  and sucking in the conventional way and limit to your mouth.
• Hand mastubation (wanking) – You know how to give yourself a hand job but you may find your method is not the same as your partner technique. There are numerous methods and techniques depending on if you are circumcised or not. A common problem  is when the forskin fails to pull back because it is restricted. The restriction is normally as a result of damage to the skin. Normallly surgery is the only option but my method may work for those who do something about it earlier enough.

Sexual acts should be joyfulb events if they are not then something is wrong.